John M. Robertson
Having just completed my 70th year on this planet, I find myself in a reflective mood. What has mattered the most all these years? Can I offer anything useful to an 18-year-old about what lies ahead? Not that I’ve been asked, of course. But then, I don’t recall asking 70+ year-olds to answer that question when I wa......... more »
For many years, my clinical psychology practice served only men, sometimes with a woman in their lives. One glaring vulnerability often appeared in my conversations with older men. Men at midlife and beyond are often profoundly lonely. Isolated. Here is a typical conversation while getting acquainted with a man in ......... more »
Men are often lampooned for their reluctance to express the full range of emotions. “Why can’t he just tell me what he’s feeling?” Or, “I wish he wouldn’t clam up when I ask him about something emotional!” Though it may not seem like it sometimes, men are born with limbic systems – the parts of t......... more »
Over and over, men hear some version of the same question: “What are you feeling?” It’s a question many men finding annoying, unnecessary, even accusatory. From boyhood on, many men (especially older men) have been socialized to not pay attention to their emotions. Their rationale: if they express an emotion like......... more »
When I began talking about my own retirement a few years ago, I got one response more often than any other. “Oh, congratulations; what are you going to do?” Always, the emphasis was on the word do. It gradually dawned on me this question was familiar, not new. When men meet, it is common to begin by ......... more »
Do I make a difference? For men, facing this question at some point in life seems almost inevitable. More so, perhaps, when it’s time to retire. Inevitable, yes, but also understandable. Because many men still feel a subtle pressure to measure their value by success at work—what is accomplished, and how much is ear......... more »
Three of my friends suffered much in the last year: one woman grieved the unexpected loss of a spouse of several decades; another suffered permanent disability in a bicycle accident; and a physically active, heath-conscious man was hit with a severe medical diagnosis. Although very painful and life changing, these e......... more »
A First Glance I exited childhood in the 1950’s with beliefs about “being a man” that have gradually become myths to me over the last 60 years. I believed what I was taught back then – just by watching and listening:To be a respectable man, I must have a successful career Competition brings out the best i......... more »
Thanking about setting some goals for this year? Psychologists have learned that how we describe a goal actually influences the emotional experience of pursuing that goal. Specifically, they have identified three types of personal goals we humans set, and discovered that each goal type has its own emotional profile. ......... more »
Want to improve your chances of avoiding mild cognitive decline as you age? Or even of getting Alzheimer’s? Researchers have identified several things we can do. Among them, is this strong recommendation: Get off your couch. And get active. This is not new advice. Those of us 55 and older have ......... more »
We humans are living longer. That’s the good news. The bad? After we turn 65, dementia rates double every five years in developed countries. And in developing ones, dementia rates double every seven years. (1) The conclusion seems unavoidable. The longer we live, the more likely we are to suffer dementia. All the m......... more »
Is diet related to dementia? For a long time, researchers have known two things: (i) poor dietary habits increase the risk of getting heart disease, and (ii) having heart disease increases the risks of dementia (1). The next question followed naturally: Does poor diet itself increase the risk of dementia? Researchers n......... more »
