Terry & Chris Copeland

The editor of ‘finewiner’ has again asked me to write about how my process of retiring is going. Again, I don’t think I will write anything that is groundbreaking or new as this is a common process for most of us that have retired.  Four months ago, I wrote how it was five months after … Retirement after nine months

The editor of ‘finewiner’ was kind enough to allow me to write about how my process of retiring is going.  I don’t think I will write anything that is groundbreaking or new as this is a common process for most of us ‘finewiners.’  In my world there has always been the question of what motivates … Retirement after 5 months

Transition: Leaving the Known for the Unknown To live is to come to what the Irish call the ‘thin places:’  the places between this world and the next, between what has been and what will be.  At such times, whether it is the first day of school, the start of a new relationship, the end of … Crossings:  Negotiating Change

As Terry has said, the most contentious issues most couples face include: sex, money, in-laws and children…not necessarily in that order. And then there’s the grandkids. For some older couples, there’s the heartache of grandchildren longed for, but never conceived or born. Or those born to an estranged child or estranged spouse of a child, … And Then There’s The Grandkids

I had gotten a new motorcycle about eight years ago and wanted to test it out on a curvy road close to our house. I went down the road to check for law enforcement people. No one there so I took off and all of a sudden, the flashing red light behind came on. I … Keeping Secrets

  Last month I wrote about the fifteen different ways Cognitive-Behavioral expert David Burns suggested that we can communicate badly, beginning with the need to defend our “truth.” Not to worry if you don’t remember more than 2 or 3 of those 15 communication “potholes. “ The details are less important than the idea that … Once More, With Feeling… Good Communication begins with Empathetic Listening

A new report published recently in the Washington Post analyzed the sexual habits of 26,000 people. It turns out that this group had sex 53 times in 2014, down from 62 times a quarter a century ago. The drop off was most pronounced among married people, who now have sex 55 times a year, down … Too much time on Facebook?

I started to write the blog I intended to write this month about “good” communication, and then stopped. As the list of “bad” communication techniques suggests, communicating well takes focus and effort, often requiring that we override our automatic tendencies to “get” others to either see things our way or at least mend their misunderstanding … To Be or Not to Be…That’s the First Question

Several years ago I took two years of Chinese cooking classes. I even had two woks and was full of myself. In my first marriage, I even had a cooking island—it felt like a Benihana style restaurant. I had a married couple over for a seven course Chinese dinner and everything was going well. I … The Sunny Side of Control

In past articles, Terry and I have talked about the importance of not keeping secrets, which can build walls between us. This would imply that telling the truth serves connection and closeness in relationships. Unfortunately, as with most things, this “ain’t necessarily so.” Sometimes the “truth” can drive us apart, and not just when we … When “Truth” gets in the way: “Good” vs. “Bad” Communication