Goodbye Again

I had been doing Ok for the past few hours until I sat down to tie some flies at my fly-tying bench. I turned on some John Denver music and then out came “Goodbye Again”. That is when I lost it, in tears. On and off for the past forty years, I have been trying to locate my old best friend from High School. Dale ......... more »

The 3rd Annual FoodAbout

One of the aspects of positive aging is to be less constrained by convention. It was a few weeks ago that my wife and I, as well as another couple,  participated in what I call The 3rd Annual FoodAbout. I highly recommend at least some variation of this for all who are interested in positive aging. This is the thir......... more »

Building Bridges

A story from my college days. I came back from lunch with some friends one day in January 1981 and found a note from the dean of men in my dormitory mailbox. He was giving me a new roommate, an English as a Second Language student from Egypt. He was a Muslim. The dean considered the options and thought I might be a goo......... more »

“Try a Soft Hackle”

For the last three years my wife (Jane), our golden retriever (Poppy), and I (Tim) have spent the month of September camping and fly-fishing primarily in Montana. While doing so we have also taken a few sorties into either Wyoming or Idaho. This year we have taken our current reach down into Henry’s Fork (of the Snak......... more »

Brain Tip #2:   Socialize More, Improve Cognitive Performance

We humans are living longer. That’s the good news. The bad? After we turn 65, dementia rates double every five years in developed countries. And in developing ones, dementia rates double every seven years. (1)  The conclusion seems unavoidable. The longer we live, the more likely we are to suffer dementia. All the m......... more »

Cloud Gazing

So, how long has it been since you took time to gaze at the clouds? No, I don’t mean sticking your head out the door to check the weather. I mean really taking time to lie down on your back and spend time watching the cloud formations. Frankly, for me it had been quite a long time since I had done that. Sure I hav......... more »

The Gulf

I had an experience the other day that made me very sad, both for myself and for the future of our country (and this was before Charlottesville). I was in the parking lot at the Sequim Safeway. Deborah and I had come up from Seattle after a day at work.  That meant I was a little dressed up; nothing fancy but in c......... more »

Friends Like Family

You've probably heard the saying "siblings are your first friends." They are how you learn to play well with others, how to share, and how to fight and make up. As your parents age, they share the challenges of caring for aging parents. When your parents are gone, they are the ones with whom you share memories of your ......... more »

Men and Loneliness

For many years, my clinical psychology practice served only men, sometimes with a woman in their lives. One glaring vulnerability often appeared in my conversations with older men. Men at midlife and beyond are often profoundly lonely.  Isolated.  Here is a typical conversation while getting acquainted with a man in ......... more »

To Life!

In “Fiddler on the Roof,” Tevye and Lazar Wolf joyously celebrate their agreement on Lazar’s engagement to Tzeitel by toasting, “L’Chaim”—“To Life!” Their duet goes on to playfully contrast the joys and sorrows of life, with the repeated exclamation that despite the times of confusion, sadness, or ......... more »

Unlikely Examples

John... Walking through the parking lot towards the hall, I could not help but be impressed with the vast number of very shiny, and mostly brightly painted, all-American muscle cars. A blazing red ’57 Chevy, a black as coal ’55 Ford, a jade green ’30 Ford Roadster, etc., etc., etc. The hall was filled with many ......... more »