Humor

Planning a Wedding After 50:  Lawyers, Botox, and Tombstones

I am 53 now and will be 54 by the time I get married this summer.  No, this is not my first rodeo.  My first “rodeo” took place when I was 21.  It was a different place, a different time, and I was a different person then.  I married a very nice man and we were married for over 20 years, but it ran its course, ......... more »

Where Are We Going ….?

"Ah, give me the good old days when we didn't have all this stress and worry". OK, let's go back to the thirties. "No! Then we had the depression, men couldn't find work, women couldn't feed their babies, families were splitting up because they couldn't afford to stay together. This is better than the thirties." ......... more »

More Fun than the Olympics

The opening event was due on the same day as the opening of the 2018 Winter Olympics. My wife and I flew from Washington to Yucca Valley, California. We were greeted with nice 77-84 degree weather and a big hug from our young “Olympian” Kay. At age 14, Kay was both excited and anxious about her dance recital tha......... more »

Two Sides Of The Coin

Being 70, I expect to have some body parts wear out, but yesterday was another story. Please note, this is not simply some old guy’s “organ recital” (aka, whining about health issues). Some how I ended up with 4 medical appointments yesterday. Somehow…well I guess we all know how… I made four appointments in ......... more »

A Letter to Grandpa Jack

Dear Grandpa Jack: My finger-tips still whence with the blazing memory of watching you snuff out the used-up Marlboro butt with your bare finger tips. I still hear myself scream silently in horror at the nonchalant act of my real Marlboro Man hero. I know I didn’t have that many years to actually be with you, b......... more »

The Anthropology of Aging: Biking Across Kansas

“Miles later and the heat is just ferocious. Sunglasses and goggles are not enough for this glare. You need a welder’s mask.” Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (1974) by Robert M. Pirsig.   In our culture, as we grow older the process of negotiating transitions with ourselves and others is a cons......... more »

‘SEENAGER’

I just discovered my age group! I am a Seenager (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later.   I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a drivers license and my own c......... more »

UNEXAMINED NOOKS AND CRANNIES

First the inventory, then the point. In the smallish cupboard below our built-in micro-wave and regular ovens there is the most interesting and curious assortment of stuff. There are two white plastic baskets, same size, side by side. The left-side basket is completely unremarkable and thus uninteresting: Plastic ba......... more »

MY FRIDAY MARTINI: A Play In 3 Acts-Act Three

Act Three – Ingestion, and Postlogue Raise the glass. Inhale. What you smell is cold, with a light scent of lemon, and maybe, maybe, a little sharpness from the alcohol. Your mind, in a conditioned response, sets off on its journey even before the chemistry catches up with it. My soul is past the point of no retur......... more »

MY FRIDAY MARTINI: A Play In 3 Acts-Act Two

Act 2 - The Ritual  5:30, post-meridian. Home, going nowhere. The coat comes off. The shoes come off. The fireplace goes on, or the breezeway door is opened. Settled. A chair. A view. No TV, no phone, no computer. A friend/family/lover. Or not. An empty stomach. More about that in a minute. My Friday martini is ......... more »

MY FRIDAY MARTINI: A Play In 3 Acts-Act One

Act One – Prologue There are certain sins that one can only appreciate when one reaches a certain maturity. An ice-cold, straight-up, gin martini is one of them. The question is, can one forgive oneself? Can God? I was raised in a church where I was taught that one drink of alcohol would send you to the fires o......... more »

Jimmy Kimmel’s Aunt Chippy is Showing Her age
A Life or Death Battle

The long black-haired bear rug on my grandparents’ bedroom floor was one of the first childhood giveaways of my grandfather’s prowess. However, my tedious and seemingly impossible job at that present moment was to take an afternoon nap…the last thing my energized body wanted to do. I wanted freedom and independen......... more »