Ask Dr. Tim: I am currently going through a divorce…

Q:

I am currently going through a divorce that has gotten nasty. I am convinced my husband is simply trying to destroy my social and financial life. I am beginning to hate the man I once loved. I am conflicted about my feelings. Boy do I ever want to strike back hard!

Strike Back

A:

Dear Strike Back:

You response to want to strike back hard is very human. Part of your job now is to actually allow yourself the discomfort of feeling all your emotions. You hurt, you are sad, you are fearful, and you are angry. It is important to note that these feelings will come and these feelings will go. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They are just feelings. What you do with your behavior is another story. Most people report that while revenge feels good in the short term, it is taking the “high road” that has lasting effects within us.

Dr. Tim