Tim Berry
Came across a great article on Huffington Post's Facebook feed. You can read it here.......... more »
Without a doubt Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year. It has been since childhood. First, I love the Hallmark card family aspect. Next, I love the rugged gift of hard work that the cooks put into culinary their efforts. Finally, I do love the array of wonderful food. However, I have never, that is never.......... more »
Q I am a 46-year-old woman who is afraid to go to a job interview. I have been out of work for several months now. I actually am pretty skilled and have a decent resume. The problem is that as soon as I get into my car to go to an interview, I start to experience anxiety. The closer I get to the job site, the worse th......... more »
Q: You may not believe this but I am a 45-year-old virgin…well sort of. I have been married eight years now and have never had an organism during intercourse. We have three children. I was a “good protestant girl” growing up and was told that I would go to hell if I had premarital sex. I have been able to have a......... more »
"The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that ......... more »
If you have not discovered the entertaining series 800 Wordson Amazon Prime yet, you may wish to check it out. While it does not tout being a series about “aging” it is flush with the topic. Remember we are ALL aging no mater where we are on the developmental chart. Mild spoiler alert…I am drawing attention to......... more »
I am standing in cold knee-deep water. While I am easily able to maintain my balance, the flow of the river is ever pressing to topple me over and sweep me down stream. My fly rod is positioned securely under my right armpit. I am holding the tippet of the 9 foot tapered leader in my mouth, while I tie on a new fly usi......... more »
Q I am a grandmother of two older elementary school age children. One of them seems to be coming out of control. My daughter and family only live a few blocks away and hence there is easy access between our two families. The oldest granddaughter has now entered puberty. The once charming little girl who could not ge......... more »
Q As a young girl my wife was exposed to sexual abuse. Apparently it occurred on a couple occasions. There are times now that she just shuts down to any physical touch. She will come home from work and just want to hibernate, not even wanting to be hugged. She says touch at that point can even bring physical pain to h......... more »
For those of you who have been following my last three posts, you know I have been writing about Mindfulness. Our last article was on Mindful “seeing”. This time I would like to suggest you experiment with another sense… your hearing. Again, I would like to suggest a simple Mindfulness exercise. Just go for a ......... more »
The character of your existence is determined by the energies to which you connect yourself. (Hua Hu Ching: The Unknown Teachings of Lao Tzu, Chapter 24) Back in ‘17 Way back, long, long, ago…in 2017 it seemed that most people I came in contact with were desperately trying to hold on to something st......... more »
I am not sure how the usage of the word “intimacy” became synonymous with sex, but in most circles it has. We hear it on the news, in public presentations, and in articles. While I believe “making love” by definition is an act of intimacy, having sexual intercourse itself is not necessarily. As we know, these t......... more »
We have all done it. We get up from a chair in the living room to retrieve something in the kitchen, study, or bedroom (equal opportunity rooms). But after the first few steps walking through the doorway into the other room we, well…we have forgotten what we came into the room to get. It is hard to score if that proc......... more »
Hating Dementia For those of us mere mortals who missed it, Glenn Smith, Ph.D. from the University of Florida, wrote the lead article in May-June 2016 issue of American Psychologist. His provocative and hopeful article is entitled, Healthy Cognitive Aging and Dementia Prevention. I would like to share some of his find......... more »
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a phenomenon that many people, especially in the Northland are all too familiar with. While I, as a clinical psychologist, see many “seniors” who experience SAD the fact is that the characteristic onset is 18-30 years. Women typically experience SAD more than men. Latitude ap......... more »
Q I am a 40-year-old single mom and I have an energetic 4-year-old daughter. My daughter’s father lives in another state and is pretty much a deadbeat. He is of little help both financially and emotionally. There are so many times that I get exhausted with my combined work and parenting. I hate it when I yell at my ......... more »
Q My son is a 19-year-old college student here in Texas. I say he is sleep deprived but he doesn’t think so and suggests I don’t know what I am talking about. He usually gets to bed between 2:00-4:00am. He is either on his computer playing games (self report: “I am very good”) or up talking with his with frien......... more »
Being 70, I expect to have some body parts wear out, but yesterday was another story. Please note, this is not simply some old guy’s “organ recital” (aka, whining about health issues). Some how I ended up with 4 medical appointments yesterday. Somehow…well I guess we all know how… I made four appointments in ......... more »
Q I am a 56-year-old realtor. I have been through one marriage and am in trouble with my second. In both marriages my spouses have accused me of having an affair. It is untrue…maybe. Because I am so “disengaged” and spend most of my “free time” working, perhaps my work has become my “lover”. The fact is ......... more »
I recently had a brief conversation with three separate men while on vacation in Hawaii. All were in their late 60’s. Jim worked at a snorkel shop. He had been an elementary teacher before moving from the Mainland to the Big Island. His “well-designed” retirement included a heavy portion of beach life. While hi......... more »
In Part 1 of Healthy Brain Aging, I shared material from Glenn Smith, Ph.D. of the University of Florida, who wrote the lead article in the May-June 2016 issue of American Psychologist. His article entitled, Healthy Cognitive Aging and Dementia Prevention will continue to be the basis of the Part 2 in this series. I......... more »
Like good wine and cheese, one's mental health improves with age, new research suggests. The following information was reported in Medscape Medical News. What the researchers found may surprise you. In a study of more than 1000 adults, people in their senior years were found to be happier and more content with their......... more »
Q My wife of 35 years controls my life. She controls our money. She controls what our house looks like. She controls what I eat. She controls how I dress. She controls where we travel. She controls how I interact with our children. She controls our sex life. She controls what kind of car we have. She controls what col......... more »
How Much Is Too Much? Anxiety is part of life -- we all feel it from time to time. In fact we would be in trouble if we felt no anxiety whatsoever. However, the majority of we Americans deal with anxiety either in ineffective ways or get hooked on powerful and addictive medications/substances. Once hooked, many report......... more »
Q I am 58-years-old and I still continue to hear the voice of my mother saying, “What is the matter with you…why can’t you be normal?” For the life of me, as a kid I didn’t know what that meant. I seemed to be like most other boys my age in school. I had a lot of energy but so did most of my friends. To this......... more »
Yes we have all heard how helpful it is for us to be grateful for what we have. Well I disagree. I disagree because the statement is SO understated. In fact it is just completely STUPID for us not to be experiencing gratitude on a daily basis! Granted this is coming from a guy who often takes things from granted. I ......... more »
Did you know that decades of sound evidence from human studies have shown that the cause of Alzheimer’s disease is likely the result of infection? Oddly, the majority of the medical community has dismissed these studies. The evidence was discussed in the March 8, 2016 Journal of Alzheimer's Disease editorial. "Despi......... more »
In Part 1 of Healthy Brain Aging, I shared material from Glenn Smith, Ph.D. of the University of Florida, who wrote the lead article in the May-June 2016 issue of American Psychologist. His article entitled, Healthy Cognitive Aging and Dementia Prevention will continue to be the basis of the Part 3 in this series. I......... more »
Q My 50-year-old son is a mess. He has been into drugs, alcohol, prison, and rehab three times. A few months ago he left his wife and went to the streets again. He keeps calling us for money…of course for drugs. When we decline, in order to press his point he constantly yells and swears at us and threatens to eith......... more »
Brains don’t like negative stress, so says the authors of a study, which was reported in the December 2014, edition of Psychology and Aging. The authors expected to find an association between so called cognitive decline and everyday memory problems being exacerbated by stress. One hundred and twelve people were s......... more »
I just discovered my age group! I am a Seenager (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a drivers license and my own c......... more »
The opening event was due on the same day as the opening of the 2018 Winter Olympics. My wife and I flew from Washington to Yucca Valley, California. We were greeted with nice 77-84 degree weather and a big hug from our young “Olympian” Kay. At age 14, Kay was both excited and anxious about her dance recital tha......... more »
A few weeks ago I posted an article about practicing gratitude even in the storm of discomfort and suffering. That article was precipitate by a nine-month sports injury and finally surgery. I am currently in the recovery mode with physical therapy twice weekly. I hope to get the bright shiny heavy-gage stainless stee......... more »
To receive this kind of news is that nightmare of any parent. Their mentally ill adult son was arrested for burglary, once again. This time, however, it was different. Plagued with a long history of addiction, depression, and hopelessness their son hanged himself in his jail cell. Bitter grief as well as many other emo......... more »
Dear Grandpa Jack: My finger-tips still whence with the blazing memory of watching you snuff out the used-up Marlboro butt with your bare finger tips. I still hear myself scream silently in horror at the nonchalant act of my real Marlboro Man hero. I know I didn’t have that many years to actually be with you, b......... more »
Q I recently attended a memorial service for my mother. This is the same person who spent my early years convincing me that I was the reason for all her physical ills. The real trick was when she also convinced me that I too was ill…when I was not. I don’t know if she had the power of hypnotism or not, but her m......... more »
At the moment I am sitting about 30 miles north of Kona, HI. It is a beautiful afternoon with the temperature about 80 degrees, a mixed-cloud sky, and a soft breeze blowing the palm trees. I feel very privileged to spend some time in this wonderful State during the winter. Even with all the laid-back mojo here on th......... more »
Q My 73-year-old husband died last week. He had been in a coma for several weeks and was on a ventilator. The doctors said there had been no brain function for about two weeks. I kept hoping against all odds that he would miraculously just wake up. Then the day came when the doctors had “the talk” with me. My husb......... more »
Q I am a 48-year-old Veteran out of the Middle East conflict. Yes I saw a lot of conflict; yes I had friends shot and killed; yes I was wounded…but for the likes of me I can’t figure out what that has to do with my “over the top” anger when someone tailgates me. After all, I was never “blown-up”. I have......... more »
You want to gain respect and higher standing? Just apologize when you mess up. It is so simple but so few people seem willing to do it. It seems that examples abound. For sake of ease, I will share with you one of the latest examples in my life. I have a business relationship with a man who agreed to help me with an......... more »
"Our results suggest that for older people, getting regular quite intensive exercise may help them keep their cognitive abilities longer," senior author, Clinton B. Wright, MD, University of Miami, commented to Medscape Medical News. The study that Dr. Wright was referring to was published online in Neurology on Mar......... more »
The 1st Word On “that” beautiful mid-July afternoon, I was finishing my salad at lunchtime, looking over emails, and waiting to see my next patient when the phone rang. In my typically rather positive phone voice I answer, “Good afternoon, Dr. Berry speaking”. My urologist, Alan Kowitz, was on the other end of......... more »
Q I am convinced my wife is messing with my mind. For example, if I ask her to do something and she agrees, she will often not follow through. When I question her, she says I never asked her. That is just one of many such examples of her behavior. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing it. I know we have had an understa......... more »
Q Ain our relationship. We are looking forward to retirement in two years but are in conflict over the next place to live. He wants to travel around the world like two hippies from the 60’s and I want to find a small cottage on the coast. Every time we try to discuss this we end up in an argument. I have no idea how......... more »
Attached to the back side of our garage is a built-on storage “cabinet” about four feet in height. When we moved into our place about four years ago, I noticed that cabinet had considerable wear and tear, but I continued to store unimportant and miscellaneous items in it. Then THE tree struck it. Actually, two y......... more »
Since the name of my psychology practice is the Center for Positive Change, one might get the idea that I am interested in the process of change. And that guess would be absolutely correct. It would also be correct to note that many of my neighbors and patients are change averse. They tend to be averse to change in the......... more »
Q I am a 53-year-old single mother with a 23-year-old son. I continue to struggle in therapy with the fact that my father began sexually abusing me when I was about 6-years-old. As bad as that was, what is even worse is that I just lately discovered that my father also molested my son when he was about the same age. A......... more »
Are you WEARY OF WHINING? If you are like most people age 50 and above, you are beginning to see things in the mirror that you didn’t notice ten or fifteen years before. It may have started with a few strands of grey hair around your temples or even that small wad of hair sitting on top of your shower drain. You may......... more »
Q: I realize that I am pretty perfectionistic…as was my mother, and her mother. Is this genetic? Cathy A: Since I am not a geneticist I am unaware of an exact “perfectionism gene”…but it actually would not surprise me. It would certainly be appropriate to consider perfectionism as a “trait”. While trait......... more »
An important four-year longitudinal study done by a group of scientists from England, and reported in the esteemed BMJ, found that subjective (perceived) wellbeing and enjoyment has the positive effect of extending our life on an average of 7.3 years. Mortality was inversely associated with the number of occasions on w......... more »
