Tim Berry
Brains don’t like negative stress, so says the authors of a study, which was reported in the December 2014, edition of Psychology and Aging. The authors expected to find an association between so called cognitive decline and everyday memory problems being exacerbated by stress. One hundred and twelve people were s......... more »
At the moment I am sitting about 30 miles north of Kona, HI. It is a beautiful afternoon with the temperature about 80 degrees, a mixed-cloud sky, and a soft breeze blowing the palm trees. I feel very privileged to spend some time in this wonderful State during the winter. Even with all the laid-back mojo here on th......... more »
Q Ain our relationship. We are looking forward to retirement in two years but are in conflict over the next place to live. He wants to travel around the world like two hippies from the 60’s and I want to find a small cottage on the coast. Every time we try to discuss this we end up in an argument. I have no idea how......... more »
Q I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago. At first, I took the recommend medication (lithium). Everyone around me says it helped my moodiness and erratic behavior, but I didn’t like how it made me feel. I felt kind of flat and I gained some weight. My husband thinks I should go back to my doctor and......... more »
Q I have two adult siblings. My older brother has always been “out there” when it comes to fitting into society. He is part hippy, part pothead, part intellect, and part narcissist. Frankly I have not enjoyed being around him for many years now. He has lived several states away and that has been just fine with me.......... more »
It was June and I was a16-year-old getting ready to enter my sophomore year in high school. I made the decision to go to the try-outs the following day for football. I remember how hot the morning was there in the locker room where I received my helmet, pants, pads, and jersey with #11 on it. To say I was anxious was a......... more »
Perhaps the reason I was never given the opportunity to get on the football field in high school was because I had no talent. I don't know how any coach would know that, since I was never allowed to try, but it was certainly one explanation. However, I had suspicions that it may have been related to my 8th grade experi......... more »
Q The other day my son accused me of having OCD. While I have heard the term, I don’t really know what he is talking about. I don’t wash my hands more than I need to. Beside I have no idea what to do about it anyway. Hank A Dear Hank: As Dr. Travis Osborne of Seattle says, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (......... more »
Q I am 53-years-old and have been married four times. My sister calls me crazy but I think I would like to finally find a good wife. I have checked out the main bars in town but the “crop” of women doesn’t look to good for this season. Any ideas? Billy A Dear Billy, I think I see a couple things wrong wi......... more »
“There he goes again. Every time I ask him to take the trash out he throws a fit!” or perhaps “Ok doc so my blood sugar is elevated. That just makes me a sweeter lady doesn’t it…what’s the big deal?” These are just exa......... more »
#1 Concentration Practice (sometimes called Samadhi) This is where most people begin their meditation practice. Here we practice focusing our attention on something neutral (i.e., our breath, sound/mantra, candle flame, etc.) We assume the so-called “regal posture” meaning not slouching or......... more »
My last two posts were about this thing called Mindfulness. At this point I would like to suggest a simple Mindfulness exercise. Just go for a slow walk of about 15 minutes. You can be anywhere: your yard, your neighborhood, in the woods, along the shore, or in a city. Step 1 Simply focus on the various colors and sh......... more »
Q: You may not believe this but I am a 45-year-old virgin…well sort of. I have been married eight years now and have never had an organism during intercourse. We have three children. I was a “good protestant girl” growing up and was told that I would go to hell if I had premarital sex. I have been able to have a......... more »
For those of you who have been following my last three posts, you know I have been writing about Mindfulness. Our last article was on Mindful “seeing”. This time I would like to suggest you experiment with another sense… your hearing. Again, I would like to suggest a simple Mindfulness exercise. Just go for a ......... more »
Q My son is a 19-year-old college student here in Texas. I say he is sleep deprived but he doesn’t think so and suggests I don’t know what I am talking about. He usually gets to bed between 2:00-4:00am. He is either on his computer playing games (self report: “I am very good”) or up talking with his with frien......... more »
How Much Is Too Much? Anxiety is part of life -- we all feel it from time to time. In fact we would be in trouble if we felt no anxiety whatsoever. However, the majority of we Americans deal with anxiety either in ineffective ways or get hooked on powerful and addictive medications/substances. Once hooked, many report......... more »
I just discovered my age group! I am a Seenager (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a drivers license and my own c......... more »
Q My 73-year-old husband died last week. He had been in a coma for several weeks and was on a ventilator. The doctors said there had been no brain function for about two weeks. I kept hoping against all odds that he would miraculously just wake up. Then the day came when the doctors had “the talk” with me. My husb......... more »
Attached to the back side of our garage is a built-on storage “cabinet” about four feet in height. When we moved into our place about four years ago, I noticed that cabinet had considerable wear and tear, but I continued to store unimportant and miscellaneous items in it. Then THE tree struck it. Actually, two y......... more »
This fourth day of our vacation to the Grand Tetons in Wyoming started out pretty much like the other three preceding it. But as Jane and I were sleeping in our trailer, I was gently awakened by pressure on my leg at 6:00 a.m. As I peered down to the bottom of the bed I saw the big brown eyes of our golden retriever Po......... more »
Q My 52-year-old husband was seen by one of my friends last week with another woman at a restaurant out of town. It appeared not to be a business meeting since they were reported to be holding hands and smiling at each other a lot. We have only been married for six years and I am devastated. I knew things have cooled ......... more »
Q Every since my husband retired 15 months ago our marriage has had more conflict. In the prior 37 years we had our ups and downs but nothing like this. I can’t figure out what has gone wrong. We were looking forward to spending more time together. Well, that has certainly happened. I wonder if we are spending too m......... more »
The very first patient I saw in my new practice when I moved to Sequim, Washington was a lady I will call Mary. After a few initial pleasantries I asked her why she was here. Without a moments hesitation she said, “I woke up in the middle of the night again last night. I had the kitchen knife in my right hand looking......... more »
We have all hear it. We all know that added sugars and syrups fuel obesity, trigger excess insulin secretion and boost inflammation, elevate triglycerides and cause cardio woes. But as our ole friends Drs. Oz and Roizen explain, they can also increase our risk for mental health. Roizen and Oz drew our attention t......... more »
Thursday morning we left Port Townsend for a long getaway weekend in Walla Walla, Washington. As we were traveling East on I-90 we began to make our way up the rain soaking mountain pass (please contain your shock at us having rain in Washington) when we came upon a military caravan. The vehicles appeared to be much......... more »
This piece is about one of the virtues of having a Mindfulness practice. It is an effective way to gain mental flexibility. When I was younger I heard stories of older people being on the ground with the inability to get themselves off the floor. I remember thinking how odd that must be…just get up…right? Later,......... more »
Q I have been married over 40 years. I have been a professional in the business world and am now retired. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago and things are getting worse for me. As if the diagnosis wasn’t bad enough, how it effects with my family is the worse part. My husband and my three adult children all don�......... more »
Choices, Choices, Choices All of us face decisions every day that potentially affect our emotional well-being. Some of these decisions are small and insignificant (i.e., chocolate or vanilla ice cream?) Other decisions appear to be much more significant (i.e., should I retire at age 65 or 70?) Research has found two p......... more »
"The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that ......... more »
The character of your existence is determined by the energies to which you connect yourself. (Hua Hu Ching: The Unknown Teachings of Lao Tzu, Chapter 24) Back in ‘17 Way back, long, long, ago…in 2017 it seemed that most people I came in contact with were desperately trying to hold on to something st......... more »
Being 70, I expect to have some body parts wear out, but yesterday was another story. Please note, this is not simply some old guy’s “organ recital” (aka, whining about health issues). Some how I ended up with 4 medical appointments yesterday. Somehow…well I guess we all know how… I made four appointments in ......... more »
Q I am 58-years-old and I still continue to hear the voice of my mother saying, “What is the matter with you…why can’t you be normal?” For the life of me, as a kid I didn’t know what that meant. I seemed to be like most other boys my age in school. I had a lot of energy but so did most of my friends. To this......... more »
The opening event was due on the same day as the opening of the 2018 Winter Olympics. My wife and I flew from Washington to Yucca Valley, California. We were greeted with nice 77-84 degree weather and a big hug from our young “Olympian” Kay. At age 14, Kay was both excited and anxious about her dance recital tha......... more »
Q I am a 48-year-old Veteran out of the Middle East conflict. Yes I saw a lot of conflict; yes I had friends shot and killed; yes I was wounded…but for the likes of me I can’t figure out what that has to do with my “over the top” anger when someone tailgates me. After all, I was never “blown-up”. I have......... more »
Since the name of my psychology practice is the Center for Positive Change, one might get the idea that I am interested in the process of change. And that guess would be absolutely correct. It would also be correct to note that many of my neighbors and patients are change averse. They tend to be averse to change in the......... more »
So, how long has it been since you took time to gaze at the clouds? No, I don’t mean sticking your head out the door to check the weather. I mean really taking time to lie down on your back and spend time watching the cloud formations. Frankly, for me it had been quite a long time since I had done that. Sure I hav......... more »
Now I am really showing my age and old fuddy-duddy-ism! I don’t know about you but I find the various commercials on TV about Virtual Reality units puzzling. First, a disclaimer. I have never tried one, so I don’t really know what I am missing…perhaps. I do understand how one can be transported to another part of......... more »
Q I am a 61-year-old female who has recently been diagnosed with something called "pseudo seizures". When I began having seizures several months ago it was as imagined very scary to both me and my family. My understanding, is that as the names suggests, they are not "really seizures". They certainly look and feel like......... more »
I continue to be shocked about how easy it is to “deteriorate” in SO many ways when I am inconsistent, especially now that I am older. Oh let me count the ways… Eating one double scoop ice cream cone and gain 5 pounds Go to the opera in the big city, and return home at 1:00 a.m. End up drag......... more »
I am by no means an avid baseball fan. As a kid I tried out for Little League. I really can’t remember why I tried out; it just seemed to be the thing to do in sixth grade. At the tryouts, I had no idea what position I wanted to try out for so they assigned me to home plate as catcher. I had never worn a catcher�......... more »
Q My 52-year-old sister supposedly was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder about ten years ago. I guess it is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). As her brother I am 12 years her junior. Sure I have seen bizarre behavior from Jess before but I just don’t get it? It is suppose to come from traum......... more »
It is 4:53 p.m. and you are in the bathroom with your head in the toilet. After eating that wonderful lunch at the Japanese restaurant you think you may have food poisoning. This is the third time you have wrenched your guts out in the past fifteen minutes. Life is horrible right now. At this moment you don’t care ab......... more »
For the last three years my wife (Jane), our golden retriever (Poppy), and I (Tim) have spent the month of September camping and fly-fishing primarily in Montana. While doing so we have also taken a few sorties into either Wyoming or Idaho. This year we have taken our current reach down into Henry’s Fork (of the Snak......... more »
“If you weren’t such a good cook I wouldn’t have eaten the entire half of pie”. “I wouldn’t have parked in the Handicapped space had I found another one.” “It’s not my fault I got the speeding ticket, I couldn’t be late for the meeting”. “I wouldn’t have tossed the burger wrapper ou......... more »
If you have not discovered the entertaining series 800 Wordson Amazon Prime yet, you may wish to check it out. While it does not tout being a series about “aging” it is flush with the topic. Remember we are ALL aging no mater where we are on the developmental chart. Mild spoiler alert…I am drawing attention to......... more »
I am not sure how the usage of the word “intimacy” became synonymous with sex, but in most circles it has. We hear it on the news, in public presentations, and in articles. While I believe “making love” by definition is an act of intimacy, having sexual intercourse itself is not necessarily. As we know, these t......... more »
Q I am a 56-year-old realtor. I have been through one marriage and am in trouble with my second. In both marriages my spouses have accused me of having an affair. It is untrue…maybe. Because I am so “disengaged” and spend most of my “free time” working, perhaps my work has become my “lover”. The fact is ......... more »
Yes we have all heard how helpful it is for us to be grateful for what we have. Well I disagree. I disagree because the statement is SO understated. In fact it is just completely STUPID for us not to be experiencing gratitude on a daily basis! Granted this is coming from a guy who often takes things from granted. I ......... more »
A few weeks ago I posted an article about practicing gratitude even in the storm of discomfort and suffering. That article was precipitate by a nine-month sports injury and finally surgery. I am currently in the recovery mode with physical therapy twice weekly. I hope to get the bright shiny heavy-gage stainless stee......... more »
You want to gain respect and higher standing? Just apologize when you mess up. It is so simple but so few people seem willing to do it. It seems that examples abound. For sake of ease, I will share with you one of the latest examples in my life. I have a business relationship with a man who agreed to help me with an......... more »
