Boundaries of Intimacy

I am not sure how the usage of the word “intimacy” became synonymous with sex, but in most circles it has. We hear it on the news, in public presentations, and in articles. While I believe “making love” by definition is an act of intimacy, having sexual intercourse itself is not necessarily. As we know, these t......... more »


“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.” So C. S. Lewis begins his book, A Grief Observed, about the death of his wife, Joy. A few weeks ago, travel......... more »

The Gulf

I had an experience the other day that made me very sad, both for myself and for the future of our country (and this was before Charlottesville). I was in the parking lot at the Sequim Safeway. Deborah and I had come up from Seattle after a day at work.  That meant I was a little dressed up; nothing fancy but in c......... more »

Reframing Anxiety

Attached to the back side of our garage is a built-on storage “cabinet” about four feet in height. When we moved into our place about four years ago, I noticed that cabinet had considerable wear and tear, but I continued to store unimportant and miscellaneous items in it. Then THE tree struck it. Actually, two y......... more »

Finding the Right Emotion Word

Over and over, men hear some version of the same question: “What are you feeling?” It’s a question many men finding annoying, unnecessary, even accusatory. From boyhood on, many men (especially older men) have been socialized to not pay attention to their emotions. Their rationale: if they express an emotion like......... more »

640 on your AM dial

"From the front page of USA TODAY, Wednesday, May 3, 2017 – “World War III:  Americans are thinking about the unthinkable.” So it’s not only me!  All this macho missile rattling. It’s not that I think that the US and the People’s Republic of North Korea are really going to throw down plutonium, but, th......... more »

Men and Emotions

Men are often lampooned for their reluctance to express the full range of emotions. “Why can’t he just tell me what he’s feeling?”   Or, “I wish he wouldn’t clam up when I ask him about something emotional!” Though it may not seem like it sometimes, men are born with limbic systems – the parts of t......... more »

War Stories

In Erich Maria Remarque’s 1931 novel, “The Road Back” (sequel to “All Quiet on the Western Front”), he follows a group of German soldiers home, as they try to reintegrate into civilian life after Germany’s surrender. They find everything changed—themselves, their friends, their family. When pushed to tell......... more »

Better Mental Health With Aging

Like good wine and cheese, one's mental health improves with age, new research suggests. The following information was reported in Medscape Medical News. What the researchers found may surprise you. In a study of more than 1000 adults, people in their senior years were found to be happier and more content with their......... more »

It’s SAD Time, Are You Ready?

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a phenomenon that many people, especially in the Northland are all too familiar with. While I, as a clinical psychologist, see many “seniors” who experience SAD the fact is that the characteristic onset is 18-30 years. Women typically experience SAD more than men. Latitude ap......... more »

Breathe In…Breathe Out…

Might this be a good time to remind you to be mindful of your level of stress and how it might be affecting your health? A little stress, like a little inflammation, is a good thing, giving us the energy to do what needs to be done. But too much, for too long, definitely takes its toll on our bodies. The hormones of......... more »

The Two Darts

Phil and James have been frat brothers for the past two years. This particular warm Sunday afternoon was providing relative boredom for both of them. Being hot and muggy both guys were stripped down to only in their gym shorts all day. About 3:00PM they decided to go down to the basement to play darts and have a few......... more »