I attended a seminar last week entitled “Memory, Forgetfulness and the Brain.” It seems many of us, as we age, become fixated on losing our memories. It so happened that last week I overheard a couple of guys in the gym debating whether or not they were on the path of Alzheimer’s. Of course if they were debating ......... more »

The long black-haired bear rug on my grandparents’ bedroom floor was one of the first childhood giveaways of my grandfather’s prowess. However, my tedious and seemingly impossible job at that present moment was to take an afternoon nap…the last thing my energized body wanted to do. I wanted freedom and independen......... more »

I’ve been a fan of neuropsychology for the past several years—learning about the amazing things the brain can do. However, the issue of being psychologically healthy has been around this planet for several thousands of years. I think the following four points are in all cultures and all religions in one form or ano......... more »

Are you writing about your life? Finding out the impact of your drafts on readers can help you be brilliant on the page when you revise. Hardly a one of us can make our best contact with the minds and hearts of others without sharing and receving response to early drafts of our work. Here's how to get the most hel......... more »

The Extraversion/Introversion orientation isn’t the only way we differ in our approach to life.  We also differ in how we notice, attend to, acquire, collect and recall information. As in the story of the blind men and the elephant, where each declared the elephant to be completely like the part they could feel, you......... more »

While I was still working and beginning to contemplate early retirement, I pictured a life blissfully free of responsibilities, deadlines or accountabilities. I anticipated laying in bed in the morning thinking about what I was going to do that day. Maybe I would just lay around the house, read a book, do a crossword p......... more »

John... Walking through the parking lot towards the hall, I could not help but be impressed with the vast number of very shiny, and mostly brightly painted, all-American muscle cars. A blazing red ’57 Chevy, a black as coal ’55 Ford, a jade green ’30 Ford Roadster, etc., etc., etc. The hall was filled with many ......... more »

  I attended a lecture by Simon Sinek who was promoting his book “Leaders Eat Last - Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t.” The premise is that “leaders look after those around them.” Leaders are courageous people who charge into battle and work on behalf of the group to protect them and shie......... more »

About eighty percent of relationship issues surround four major issues. Not in order are the four: Sex, Money, In-Laws, and Children. Why these four are so potent is that they reflect the person’s values of what is important, and how to deal with them. The great difficulty in discussing these issues is staying away f......... more »

A friend recently asked me what I thought of all the dystopian views of our future often portrayed in movies and television shows—and predicted by certain people sure that election of the “other” candidate is going to lead to doom and destruction. Here is my answer to him: Ah, dystopian futures, we certainly d......... more »

The Re-entry After returning from a two-week vacation in Hawaii a friend of mine asked me how my “re-entry” was going. It seemed like a legitimate question and in fact was quite on target. The fact is that the past week had been a bit of a struggle getting back into my typical 10-11 hour workday. This was especial......... more »

I agree with Terry that sexual intimacy is an important aspect of a primary relationship, and along with matters related to family and finances, the one most likely to lead to problems if not adequately tended. It is also one of those areas in which male and female points of view, preferences and needs can differ. I......... more »

I did a short triathlon last weekend. It was a course I’d done before and I was with my triathlon team. I was thrilled when I got 2nd place in my age group and insisted that we wait around – in the cold and rain – for over an hour so I could stand on the podium and collect my commemorative beer glass (even though......... more »

Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist in Vienna in the late ’30’s when he and his family were incarcerated in a Jewish concentration camp. Most of his family perished but he survived to write a book about his experiences and learnings from the camp. The book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”, has sold over 12 million co......... more »

It is within my body, and having been set in motion, remains alive in me. I have an almost do-or-die obsession to have outlets for my playfulness and discovering the territories of resiliency, adaptability, and movement. With a liberated emotional intelligence, I can now lead with my heart. With a sharp eye th......... more »

Older adults are often the targets of scams and schemes designed to confuse them and take their money. We hear the headlines and think “I’d never fall prey to a scam like that.” But, would we?? We all know a sales pitch when we see one; a billboard on the highway advertising a restaurant, a television commercial ......... more »

Came across a great article on Huffington Post's Facebook feed. You can read it here.......... more »

Perhaps one of the most useful ideas I learned in graduate school was the concept of the ‘emotional bank account.’ This is very similar to your checking account—it is not fixed or static. You make deposits, you make withdrawals. These deposits and withdrawals are deposits or withdrawals of trust. If I bring my wi......... more »

When on a journey to learn more, drink more and gracefully age more (wine that is), there are a few concepts that are helpful to understand. Considering the enormity of the subject I want to touch first on the make-up of a wine or the elements within wine that give it its character and age-ability. To look at w......... more »

Those of us that spend our careers in corporate America often unintentionally limit our exposure to the diversity of thinking that makes our country so strong and so interesting. Most of our contacts are business related: coworkers, customers, suppliers, consultants, etc. So this means that most of the people that we s......... more »

In my first post on FineWiner.com, I wrote about the five markers of a ‘good marriage.’ Coming in fifth on the list was sexual compatibility. This is one of the touchier issues to address for many couples. For some couples, sexual compatibility is being sexual three times a week; for others, being sexually compatib......... more »

I am standing in cold knee-deep water. While I am easily able to maintain my balance, the flow of the river is ever pressing to topple me over and sweep me down stream. My fly rod is positioned securely under my right armpit. I am holding the tippet of the 9 foot tapered leader in my mouth, while I tie on a new fly usi......... more »

In earlier blogs, we have talked about some of the things that stay the same as we transition from work life to retirement.   One thing that does change, and in a big way for most of us anyway, is that we have many more degrees of freedom within which to choose how we spend our time. This freedom enables us to resurr......... more »

I just came in from deliberately spending time outdoors in the summer midday sun, wearing skimpy clothes with no sunscreen. And I have pale, freckled skin and a family history of skin cancer. I know that some of you are saying, “Are you kidding? This can’t be healthy!” And yet, my careful review of health rese......... more »

I had been doing Ok for the past few hours until I sat down to tie some flies at my fly-tying bench. I turned on some John Denver music and then out came “Goodbye Again”. That is when I lost it, in tears. On and off for the past forty years, I have been trying to locate my old best friend from High School. Dale ......... more »

One of the reasons that my wife and I love to travel is the stimulation of seeing the world through different sets of eyes. Routines of life at home provide a framework each day that feels good. It can often be challenging but also limiting. Often our routines feel good (secure) to us, but don’t push us out of our co......... more »

To receive this kind of news is that nightmare of any parent. Their mentally ill adult son was arrested for burglary, once again. This time, however, it was different. Plagued with a long history of addiction, depression, and hopelessness their son hanged himself in his jail cell. Bitter grief as well as many other emo......... more »

Did you know that decades of sound evidence from human studies have shown that the cause of Alzheimer’s disease is likely the result of infection? Oddly, the majority of the medical community has dismissed these studies. The evidence was discussed in the March 8, 2016 Journal of Alzheimer's Disease editorial. "Despi......... more »

I recently had a brief conversation with three separate men while on vacation in Hawaii. All were in their late 60’s. Jim worked at a snorkel shop.  He had been an elementary teacher before moving from the Mainland to the Big Island. His “well-designed” retirement included a heavy portion of beach life. While hi......... more »

We have all done it. We get up from a chair in the living room to retrieve something in the kitchen, study, or bedroom (equal opportunity rooms). But after the first few steps walking through the doorway into the other room we, well…we have forgotten what we came into the room to get. It is hard to score if that proc......... more »

Are you WEARY OF WHINING? If you are like most people age 50 and above, you are beginning to see things in the mirror that you didn’t notice ten or fifteen years before. It may have started with a few strands of grey hair around your temples or even that small wad of hair sitting on top of your shower drain. You may......... more »

Three women – three experiences Standing about 45 feet in the air, she looked down from the small circular wooden platform encircling the ironwood tree. The platform had no handrail and it was easy to view the small serpentine stream quietly swooshing down the jungle-laden hillside.  When she first peered over the ......... more »

Keeping a notebook of short descriptions, thoughts, overheard conversations, quotes and even complaints and worries will keep us in the writing mode, even when our days are filled with other activities and concerns. I have been reading a wise and inspiring book called The Journal Keeper, A Memoir, by Phyllis Theroux......... more »

At this moment when I sat down at my computer, our one year-old golden retriever, Poppy instantly began running around the perimeter of our living room. She had a chew- toy in her mouth and was playfully doing laps; just for the fun of it. I have to admit, this level of energy is something I may have experienced yea......... more »

When you ask 400 physicians and 700 therapists the question, “How do you know when you’ve seen a good marriage?”—you get the same answers in the same order. In my world, this has become one of the benchmarks I quickly use when I meet with a couple. The five markers are: 1. The frequent and open display of affec......... more »

Surprising Information I love artichokes, but until recently I assumed that, with their pale drab green color, they weren’t particularly healthy. Mostly I thought of them as an excuse for eating melted butter or mayonnaise. But I have learned from a book by Jo Robinson that artichokes are one of our healthiest ve......... more »

Terry mentioned the fact that many couples don’t talk much, with 27 and ½ minutes a week being about average. But talking isn’t the only way of communicating, and as Terry pointed out, shared activities play a vital role in keeping a couple’s connection alive. In looking at how we do that “dance” of co......... more »

"Our results suggest that for older people, getting regular quite intensive exercise may help them keep their cognitive abilities longer," senior author, Clinton B. Wright, MD, University of Miami, commented to Medscape Medical News. The study that Dr. Wright was referring to was published online in Neurology on Mar......... more »

Our societal obsession with staying young has sent a strong message that aging is not okay. As a result, many individuals find themselves in a constant search for the product or method that will slow the inevitable aging process. All of this is not necessary, for our bodies have a built-in system for counteracting stre......... more »

I am not sure why I walked out of that spring day’s beautiful mid-morning sunshine. It would have been so much easier to just keep walking down the 9:45 a.m. tree lined sidewalk. In fact the dirty beige concrete going beyond the doorway was becoming increasingly seductive. Not yielding to the seduction, I in fact ......... more »

Anyone who has been divorced or widowed at midlife knows about starting life anew, as do those who have lost their jobs or found themselves at loose ends after the departure of the kids for college—and their own futures. After I found myself suddenly single and uprooted, I took the opportunity to live a lifelong drea......... more »

Motivation. Defined by Webster as providing us with a reason to act in a certain way; inducement or incentive. What motivates us in life is a fascinating concept. Why do some feel so committed to action while others do not? Or further, why at one point in our lives, with the same life choices, are we motivated to act- ......... more »

When I think about becoming wiser in my life: softer, kinder, more available; I like to start by looking at the end of my life and moving backward to the present. Why do I think of my own dying as a teacher? Because for more than 40 years I have spent a lot of time sitting with the dying, talking, in silence, in prayer......... more »

This morning we all were hit by the terrible news of the Orlando shootings. It can be hard to know how to handle the slew of emotions that arise in response to such a tragedy. It's normal to feel angry and sad when we see such a high level of hate in our world. In addition, with a crime such as this, we can feel a mult......... more »

As a plaintiff’s trial lawyer, I make my living by communicating. I speak to clients, judges, juries, opposing counsel, colleagues, and the media. I convey complex facts, legal theories, and difficult emotions. This, of course, requires a working knowledge of the subject matter and the evidence, as well as experience......... more »

In less than one second.... ...the sight of the back of a car appears and I realize the car I am driving is less than five feet away from it. I decide there is no need to look at the speedometer to understand there is a significant difference in the speed between my car and the one that is five feet away. “Better ge......... more »

Ask even the most novice wine drinker and they will most likely tell you that red wine gets better with age and white wine is meant to drink young. Growing up in wine country, I too believed this statement even before I started drinking wine. It is one of the most basic rules of wine knowledge. The aged red wine symbol......... more »