Ask Dr. Tim (Q&A)

Ask Dr. Tim: As a young girl my wife was exposed to sexual abuse.

Q As a young girl my wife was exposed to sexual abuse. Apparently it occurred on a couple occasions. There are times now that she just shuts down to any physical touch. She will come home from work and just want to hibernate, not even wanting to be hugged. She says touch at that point Ask Dr. Tim: As a young girl my wife was exposed to sexual abuse.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: When I was driving about one hour from home my back started “killing me”.

I returned a few weeks ago from a fun-filled week hiking on the coast with some buddies. While I have a history of back pain, carrying the heavy pack all week didn’t bother me at all. We did some rock climbing and carried a lot of firewood. Oddly, when I was driving about one hour Ask Dr. Tim: When I was driving about one hour from home my back started “killing me”.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: My daughter thinks I drink too much.

Q My daughter thinks I drink too much. She also thinks I work too hard. And, she thinks I spend too much money on her. She was a worrywart even as a young child, always having to take care of the family. If we were out walking on the beach she would have us move Ask Dr. Tim: My daughter thinks I drink too much.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: I am an unsuccessful perfectionist.

Q I have come to realize that I am an unsuccessful perfectionist. I am guessing it started when I was a young girl. My room was always clean and organized, especially in comparison to my younger sister’s room. I have tried to maintain a perfect house with well-accomplished children. Now in my mid-50’s I am Ask Dr. Tim: I am an unsuccessful perfectionist.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: I manage a team of pretty tough construction workers

Q Last week was a hard week at work. I manage a team of pretty tough construction workers. I have found that the best way to manage them is to invite them into my life, talk about their home life, and work as a team. Of course, I want them to like me. The problem Ask Dr. Tim: I manage a team of pretty tough construction workers

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: I moved in with my 88-year-old mother…she needed help.

Q As a 60-year-old woman I moved in with my now 88-year-old mother several years ago. Aging, she needed help. Since I was newly out of a divorce and a job, I decided to give it a try. My own children live in another State so I would be focused on mom. Of course there Ask Dr. Tim: I moved in with my 88-year-old mother…she needed help.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: Three years ago my wife of fifteen years died in an auto accident.

Q Three years ago my wife of fifteen years died in an auto accident. I have been having a most difficult time getting on with my life. Though others have tried to convince me otherwise, I feel guilty for her death. You see, she decided to take a trip to visit her parents who live Ask Dr. Tim: Three years ago my wife of fifteen years died in an auto accident.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: …she also convinced me that I too was ill…when I was not.

Q I recently attended a memorial service for my mother. This is the same person who spent my early years convincing me that I was the reason for all her physical ills. The real trick was when she also convinced me that I too was ill…when I was not. I don’t know if she had Ask Dr. Tim: …she also convinced me that I too was ill…when I was not.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: …my wife is messing with my mind.

Q I am convinced my wife is messing with my mind. For example, if I ask her to do something and she agrees, she will often not follow through. When I question her, she says I never asked her. That is just one of many such examples of her behavior. Sometimes I feel like I Ask Dr. Tim: …my wife is messing with my mind.

more »
Ask Dr. Tim: My 50-year-old son is a mess…

Q My 50-year-old son is a mess. He has been into drugs, alcohol, prison, and rehab three times. A few months ago he left his wife and went to the streets again. He keeps calling us for money…of course for drugs. When we decline, in order to press his point he constantly yells and swears Ask Dr. Tim: My 50-year-old son is a mess…

more »