- Goodbye Again
- Twists and Turns on the Road of Life
- Living in the Sweet Spot
- The 3rd Annual FoodAbout
- The Unexpected
- Game of Thrones & Donuts
- Ask Dr. Tim: “I would like to push him in front of a freight train!”
- Building Bridges
- Just Own-Up
- Life Goes On
- It’s Just a Half-inch
- Retirement after nine months
- So What Is There to Be Grateful For?
- Ask Dr. Tim: “May I be addicted to my work?”
- Boundaries of Intimacy
- Our Secrets Make Us Sick
- It’s Not My Fault I…
- Retirement after 5 months
- Fast Cars and Freedom
- Brain Tip #3: Eat Smart, Decrease Dementia
- “Try a Soft Hackle”
- Crossings: Negotiating Change
- Write Scenes From a Long Remembered Time
- Visiting the ill–101
- Ask Dr. Tim: My Sister Was Diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder
- Brain Tip #2: Socialize More, Improve Cognitive Performance
- Why Robert Plant is The Boss: (and 5 Ways That You Can Be, Too!)
- On Baseball
- Brain Tip #1: Use your Body, Benefit your Mind
- Consistency…Oh What a Drag
- We Are Not Meant to Live Isolated Lives
- Ask Dr. Tim: I have been diagnosed with “Pseudo Seizures”…am I going CRAZY?
- Using the Epistolary Form Helps Us Write Meaningfully
- Planning a Wedding After 50: Lawyers, Botox, and Tombstones
- Virtual Reality
- Fallen Leaves
- Where Are We Going ….?
- Cloud Gazing
- Getting Old Without Getting Older
- For the Change Averse
- Board Games and Activities Offer Occasions for Writing
- Ask Dr. Tim: I am a 48-year-old Veteran…
- Of Spiritual Journeys
- More Fun than the Olympics
- Paperwork for Peace of Mind
- Goal-Setting and Emotions
- Ask Dr. Tim: I still continue to hear the voice of my mother saying, “What is the matter…?”
- Two Sides Of The Coin
- Two Views of Manhood
- Sticky Fingers
- IT ALL STARTS WITH SCIENCE [Part 2]
- Shipwreck 101!
- A Perfect Time to Talk
- Do You Want to Be Right or Happy?
- Ask Dr. Tim: Help…I have Alzheimer’s and I am 69-years-old
- Mindfulness and Mental Flexibility
- On “Going to Hell in a Hand Basket”
- Jumping Through Hoops
- Hey Sweetie…
- Caution: Retirement Ahead
- Leadership
- Ask Dr. Tim: Every since my husband retired 15 months ago our marriage has had more conflict
- IT ALL STARTS WITH SCIENCE [Part 1]
- Ask Dr. Tim: My 52-year-old husband was seen by one of my friends last week with another woman…
- The Physicality of Writing Scenes and Characters
- Shadowlands
- The Gulf
- Yep It Has Been a Perfect Day…For Me
- A Letter to Grandpa Jack
- On “Making a Difference”
- The Anthropology of Aging: Biking Across Kansas
- Reframing Anxiety
- Ask Dr Tim: HOW was I supposed to be the one who ended up “killing” my husband?
- On Making Retirement Satisfying…for Men. It’s not what we do… It’s what we experience.
- ‘SEENAGER’
- The Elwha River Restoration: A Story of Hope and Inspiration
- And Then There’s The Grandkids
- Dealing With Anxiety…Naturally
- Finding the Right Emotion Word
- Ask Dr Tim: My son is a 19-year-old college student here in Texas…
- UNEXAMINED NOOKS AND CRANNIES
- Coming to Your Senses: hearing
- Keeping Secrets
- Ask Dr. Tim: You may not believe this but I am a 45-year-old virgin…
- Coming to Your Senses: sight
- Mindfulness: Two Main Branches of Meditation
- Fitbits On the Amazon
- What Is This Mindfulness Stuff?
- Openings That Make You Continue Writing
- Once More, With Feeling… Good Communication begins with Empathetic Listening
- Ask Dr. Tim: I am 53-years-old and have been married four times…
- An Oscillating Fan is Better Than a Roller Coaster
- How Do I Activate My Inner Core?
- 640 on your AM dial
- Life in the Middle
- Too much time on Facebook?
- On Becoming A Quitter…Or Not: Part 2
- Men and Emotions
- Ask Dr. Tim: The other day my son accused me of having OCD…
- MY FRIDAY MARTINI: A Play In 3 Acts-Act Three
- On Becoming A Quitter…Or Not: Part 1
- War Stories
- MY FRIDAY MARTINI: A Play In 3 Acts-Act Two
- The Anthropology of Aging
- Ask Dr. Tim: My older brother has always been “out there”..
- MY FRIDAY MARTINI: A Play In 3 Acts-Act One
- Power of Philanthropy: Part II
- Ask Dr. Tim: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago…
- Friends Like Family
- To Be or Not to Be…That’s the First Question
- Ask Dr. Tim: My husband and I have come to a standstill…
- Men and Loneliness
- Never Too Old To Face Our Fears
- Why I Talk About Dying
- The Trip: Remembering Our Strengths
- Ask Dr. Tim: I hate it when I yell at my daughter but sometimes I just seem to explode.
- Our Brain on Stress
- Humble Student
- Ask Dr. Tim: My wife of 35 years controls my life…
- Ask Dr. Tim: I am a 46-year-old woman who is afraid to go to a job interview.
- Openings That Make You Continue Writing
- Ask Dr. Tim: As a young girl my wife was exposed to sexual abuse.
- The Power of Philanthropy to Change the World
- Getting to Know a Wine-Part 4: look at its tannin
- The Sunny Side of Control
- Would You Drive Blindfolded?
- Ask Dr. Tim: When I was driving about one hour from home my back started “killing me”.
- Another Long Slow Goodbye
- WELLNESS TIPS: What To Do in the Off Season to Maintain Focus
- Ask Dr. Tim: My daughter thinks I drink too much.
- 69…70…100
- When “Truth” gets in the way: “Good” vs. “Bad” Communication
- Ask Dr. Tim: I am an unsuccessful perfectionist.
- Core Part II
- To Life!
- Ask Dr. Tim: I manage a team of pretty tough construction workers
- Seventy!
- What is Your “Word for the Year?”
- Ask Dr. Tim: I moved in with my 88-year-old mother…she needed help.
- WELLNESS TIPS: What To Do in the Off Season to Maintain Focus?
- Ask Dr. Tim: Three years ago my wife of fifteen years died in an auto accident.
- Simply Perfect
- The Physicality of Writing Scenes and Characters
- Ask Dr. Tim: …she also convinced me that I too was ill…when I was not.
- Extend Your Life by Enjoying Your Life
- WELLNESS TIPS: A Personal Year End Inventory
- WELLNESS TIPS: Avoiding Temptation Over the Holidays
- The Holidays Are In Full Swing…Wine Choices
- Reflections in the Quiet
- Better Mental Health With Aging
- All Is Not Fair In Love
- Ask Dr. Tim: My 50-year-old son is a mess…
- It’s SAD Time, Are You Ready?
- Breathe In…Breathe Out…
- Ask Dr. Tim: ..she has turned into a “she-devil”.
- Good News For the Very Old Agers
- Oh To Be Young Again!
- Ask Dr. Tim: I am currently going through a divorce…
- Thanksgiving: Gratitude Conflict
- Moving In With Dad
- Ask Dr. Tim: I have had chronic neck pain…
- Happiness and Heart Attacks
- Staying Razor Sharp With Age
- The Two Darts
- Fairness
- Ask Dr Tim: My husband and I have been…
- Writing Short, Writing Deep
- Ask Dr Tim: We are having some pretty conflicted times…
- Ask Dr Tim: As a mom I always…
- What is My Core Anyway?
- The Wandering Mind
- Tom Morgan
- Two Important Words
- Decisive Differences
- Getting to Know a Wine-Part 3: look at its sugar
- Healthy Brain Aging—Part 3
- Secrets….
- Ask Dr. Tim: I realize I am Pretty perfectionistic…
- Healthy Brain Aging—Part 2
- Cognitive Therapy for Writers: Behave Your Way Into Writing
- Healthy Brain Aging—Part 1
- Balancing Balance
- For Better of Worse: in sickness and in health, till death do us part
- Getting to Know a Wine-Part 2: look at its alcohol
- This is What 52 Looks Like!!
- 911 Mindfulness
- Sunshine is Healthy!
- Give Rein to Your Curiosities
- Confluence of the River
- What is a ‘good sexual life’ for us older adults?
- Cultivate a Wide Variety of Friends
- Getting to Know a Wine-Part 1: look at its acid
- Your Emotional ‘bank account’
- Beginning to see some improvement…
- Watch Out for Hidden Sales Pitches
- If I Only Knew Then…
- Victor Frankl’s Retirement Guide
- Adventure Seeking-Good Brain Food?
- The Dance of Intimacy: A Female Perspective
- Adjustments Needed
- Looking Forward
- The Big Four
- Practice Empathy
- Jimmy Kimmel’s Aunt Chippy is Showing Her age
- Unlikely Examples
- “Ain’t it funny how your new life didn’t change things…”
- Keeping Time in The Dance of the Relationship: It All Depends on How you Look at It
- First Readers Help You Know More Than You Thought You Knew About What You Wanted to Say
- True North
- A Life or Death Battle
- Some Thoughts on Adult P.E.
- Principles of an Exciting and Fulfilling Retirement
- The Age of Wine
- Why bodybuilding at age 93 is a great idea: Charles Eugster at TEDxZurich
- In Less Than One Second…
- When You Open Your Mouth Are You Holding Yourself Back?
- The Orlando Shootings and Our Heartaches
- LET THE DYING TEACH US HOW TO LIVE
- Aging Wisely from a Physical Therapist’s Perspective
- Beginning Again . . . and Again
- EXPLOSION
- The Relaxation Response and Anti-Aging
- Travel as Cognitive Stimulation
- Talking to Think vs. Thinking to Talk
- IN PRAISE OF ARTICHOKES
- BENCHMARKS FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP
- Saying Goodbye to Superman
- Keeping a Writer’s Journal? 21 Prompts to Help You
- ZIPPED
- Weary OF Whining
- WALKING THROUGH THE DOORWAY
- THREE DISCONTENT MEN
- Infection and Alzheimer’s…say What?
- HOW COULD ANYONE
- Build a Brain You Can Be Proud Of
Blog
- Goodbye Again
- Twists and Turns on the Road of Life
- Living in the Sweet Spot
- The 3rd Annual FoodAbout
- The Unexpected
- Game of Thrones & Donuts
- Ask Dr. Tim: “I would like to push him in front of a freight train!”
- Building Bridges
- Just Own-Up
- Life Goes On
- It’s Just a Half-inch
- Retirement after nine months
- So What Is There to Be Grateful For?
- Ask Dr. Tim: “May I be addicted to my work?”
- Boundaries of Intimacy
- Our Secrets Make Us Sick
- It’s Not My Fault I…
- Retirement after 5 months
- Fast Cars and Freedom
- Brain Tip #3: Eat Smart, Decrease Dementia
Ask Dr. Tim: …my wife is messing with my mind.
By: Tim Berry
Q
I am convinced my wife is messing with my mind. For example, if I ask her to do something and she agrees, she will often not follow through. When I question her, she says I never asked her. That is just one of many such examples of her behavior. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing it. I know we have had an understanding on a topic but she is an expert at spinning the situation. I assume she is doing this on purpose but perhaps not?
Spinning
A
Dear Spinning:
You didn’t mention her age. If she in her “later years” she could be showing signs of cognitive decline. If she is not in decline (at what ever age) she could be participating in something called “gaslighting”. The concept is taken from a 1944 movie staring Ingrid Bergman who is almost driven to insanity by her conniving new husband. In the movie the husband’s intention was criminal and financial. It sounds like your situation lacks that motivation. Pop some corn and see if the movie fits.
Dr. Tim
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