HOW COULD ANYONE

To receive this kind of news is that nightmare of any parent. Their mentally ill adult son was arrested for burglary, once again. This time, however, it was different. Plagued with a long history of addiction, depression, and hopelessness their son hanged himself in his jail cell. Bitter grief as well as many other emotions flowed over this family like a tsunami.

While there are certainly many questions and few answers at these times of tragedy, judgment and criticism typically follow from some members of the neighborhood, community, or even the family. Sometimes the questions are – what could we, or what should we have done, questions. These are unanswerable and yet so easy to ask from the outsider’s perspective.

We do know a few things. The man who found it necessary to end his life did so because he felt it was the only way to stop his years of emotional pain. We also know that he was once someone’s dear child. We know that with the painful times, there were also those special good times. We also know the following song was chosen by his parents for his memorial service because they have special meaning:

How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole?
How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle?
How deeply you’re connected to my soul.

(Words by Libby Roderick, 1958)